


On the distant shore

by itzteegan



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Control Ending, Death, F/M, Reunions, dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 07:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26469595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itzteegan/pseuds/itzteegan
Summary: The first law of thermodynamics, also known as Law of Conservation of Energy, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another ...In the end, Shepard makes the decision to sacrifice herself to control the Reapers. But her end is only the beginning.
Relationships: Irikah Krios/Thane Krios, Thane Krios/Female Shepard, Thane Krios/Shepard
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	On the distant shore

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I writing and posting these one-shots instead of updating my WIP fics?
> 
> Because my muse is a fickle, fickle bitch and she's shoving all these damn plot bunnies at me faster than I can count them. I'm hoping that by clearing out some of the little ones I can focus more on the other things I have going on. Maybe. Hey, I can dream, right?

With each ragged breath that I drew, I knew in my heart that they were my last. Even if I destroyed the Reapers and all synthetic life in the galaxy, my chances of surviving this thing were not good, if such odds even existed at all. Tears stung my eyes as I came to grips with reality. I didn’t _want_ to die. Despite the blatantly suicidal nature of the missions I’d taken on, I’d always just expected that I would survive, somehow. I’d find a way, just like I always did. But this time my luck had run out. There was no Cerberus to rebuild me, to bring me back from brain death. This was it. My final run. Unlike my first time around, when I was so shocked I barely had the time to process what was happening, time itself seemed to slow as the realisation took hold.

_You’re going to die, here._

Wincing, I pulled myself to my feet. _Well, if this is how I go out, let’s make it a good one._ The impulse to play the hero ran too strongly in my veins, coupling with the adrenaline that had me stumbling forward. Fresh tears spilled over my cheeks as I made my way over to the controls, the words from Thane’s final messages to me sounding, unbidden, in my head.

_Face it bravely. I know you are good at that._

I stumbled as I went to turn to go up the left ramp, crying out as I reached out to catch myself with the arm that wasn’t clutching the wound in my side. I’d somehow forgotten, however, that I’d injured that shoulder as well, and I went down all the way to the ground. Punching the floor in frustration, I carefully pushed myself up once more. This had to be done, there was no other way. Damn even my wants and hopes and dreams, everyone else in the galaxy – both synthetic and organic alike – deserved their own chance to live and grow and _thrive_ and if that meant I had to sacrifice myself, well … I suppose it was poetic, in a way. I could only hope my friends could forgive me for the way I was about to see this through.

_We are alive, siha. And when we are not, I will meet you across the sea._

I half-chuckled as I stood there for a bare moment, blood dripping down my forehead, mixing with the tears. “I’m gonna hold you to that, Thane,” I murmured as I reached out, placing both of my hands on either side of the controls.

A blinding pain arched through my body as I took hold, searing every inch of me. For a moment I couldn’t even tell if I’d gone blind or if I was just squeezing my eyes shut, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t even breathe deeply to power through the pain, my chest muscles paralysed and useless. All I could do was stand there and take it. Every single nerve in my body was on fire and despite my earlier bravado, I was beginning to regret my course of action.

_Kalahira, this one’s heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention. Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me._

Tears spilled down my cheeks as a raw scream was pulled from my throat, the last sounds I made as my organic body began to dissolve. _I’m coming, Thane. Meet you across the sea._ Mercifully, the pain began to dull as my body was ripped apart, atom by atom, the nerves themselves numbed until I could feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing. The darkness that surrounded me seemed as endless as the ocean itself and I floated in the nothingness.

And then, light. Glorious light. So much so, I would have gone blind had I eyes to see. It was such a strange, incomprehensible sensation to be alive and yet not. I did not breathe, I had no body, but I existed just as vividly as I had mere moments before, if not more so. Except now, instead of being constrained by a physical body, I was so much _more_.

I had never been much of a science nerd, relying on other compatriots to make for what I lacked there, but a particular lesson came to me, the implications of which had me stunned.

_Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be transferred or changed from one form to another._

That meant …

First things first. The Reapers and their ilk needed direction now, and I was the one to provide that. The attacks, the harvesting, it was stopped immediately. The mass relays that were damaged when I’d sent out the signal, they were repaired. The knowledge that the Reapers had amassed throughout all the extinction cycles they’d triggered, it was shared through the galaxy as their momentary unity was not forgotten. Babies were born on Tuchanka, dozens, _hundreds_ , of squirming, crying, _live_ babies that gave even the hardiest Krogan the chance to weep to see the results of the genophage undone. The Geth and the Quarians were properly reunited, standing side by side as recognised equals, reclaiming Rannoch together. Home worlds were rebuilt, resettled, people converging and recovering together. It was everything that I’d hoped my death would serve. I was happy that this time, for once, it had not been in vain. And though my friends and compatriots grieved my loss, adding my name to the memorial wall alongside so many others – Mordin Solus, Thane Krios, Admiral Anderson, the list went on and on – I, for once, was at peace.

Well, almost.

It took some searching, some poking and prodding in places I’d never even dreamed of before, but I had nothing but time anymore. And _there_ , there it was, finally I found it, the one place in the entire galaxy that I’d ever truly wanted to be once I’d accepted my fate.

The distant shore, where Thane had promised he would wait for me.

And there he was.

Just like myself, he had no physical form, not anymore. But I could sense him, sense his unique presence, his very soul, and he in turn sensed mine. His words, though not spoken, trilled through me as though he did. “Oh, siha.” His tone sounded almost regretful, as if he knew that I had not lived terribly long after we’d been parted. “I had hoped …”

“It’s alright,” I assured. “I accomplished my mission.”

“Of course you did. I knew you would. But you are … different. Is this what human souls feel like once they have passed on?”

His presence reached out to me, and had I a body, it might have tickled. Instead, it filled me with his warmth and I embraced it. “Well, it’s … complicated.”

“Complicated?” I could feel the sigh emanating from him as he murmured, “You are the only person in the entire galaxy that could make death complicated, siha.”

And so I told him, told him of the catalyst, of the decision I’d had to make, explaining what that now meant with the Reapers and the galaxy as a whole. He was proud that I’d made the decision I did, as I knew he would, and in that moment all the pain I’d suffered to get to this point completely fell away, forgotten in the depths of my joy at being reunited with Thane.

“Natalya,” he intoned, his presence reaching back behind him, “I want you to meet someone.” An unfamiliar presence joined us, one I didn’t recognise until he said, “This is Irikah, my wife.”

Before I’d died, I would have at least initially balked at such a meeting, fearing awkwardness and tension. After all, we both deeply loved the same person, and he loved us. Though we were separated by different times – Irikah dying long before Thane and I met – before it would have felt weird and almost cruel, as if a choice would have had to been made regarding who stayed with whom. But with all the worries and concerns of the physical world having long dropped away, there was none of that, and instead there was genuine love and gratitude that shone through her bright spirit as we officially met for the first time. “Thank you,” she told me before I could even say anything, “for looking after Thane and Kolyat for me when I could not be there.”

Our embrace was natural, as was everything about us all coming together, almost as if it were meant to be. I wasn’t sure I really believed in such a concept as _fate_ , but in that moment … I questioned.

But, another time for that. After all, that was all we had anymore. Time. And us. What was it the Asari said, again?

_Embrace eternity._

That’s precisely what we did, there on the distant shore.


End file.
